I hated Mondays because it represented everything I was unsatisfied with in my life. On Mondays, I had to leave my family (yet again) to go to a job that bored me to absolute tears, while working with a few good people, but mostly a bunch of lawyer-ish twats. [Read More…]
Now before you go thinking that I’ve gone crazy(er), because of the change of content here, I gotta explain something to you…
I’m 43 years old. If the ego develops around, say, five years old, then it’s safe to say that I’ve spent the last (counts on fingers) 38 years trying to gain acceptance from those around me. Literally, my life and nearly every action I’ve taken have been to gain someone else’s acceptance.
In the dog-eat-dog world of IM, you gotta be scrappy.
*Note: No puppies were hurt in the making of this crappy scrappy meme.*
Because if you’re not scrappy, THEY will eat you alive. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. And I can count on one hand the people I can actually trust in this industry, out of the thousands of people I know.
But that’s okay, because for each person that I learn I can’t trust, it’s just someone I know I don’t want in my tribe. And then you find those you can trust – the good guys – and it’s fun and awesome and amazing again!
Last year, right around this time, I was in a bad, bad place in life. I had just realized that I had been in a deeply debilitating depression for about a year and a half that had taken my business, and had very scarily nearly taken my life. [Read More…]
The title…that’s what really fucks a lot of us up, isn’t it? I know it does for me.
I have plans – BIG plans – but I seem to always get throttled because I don’t know where to start. God, it’s frustrating too, when you’ve got so many ideas and so much goodness inside you that feels like it can’t come out.
So for today, for rightnow, I’m starting right here. Come with me? Because I’d LOVE it if you were with me on this journey. [Read More…]
The past couple of days have been like some kind of carnival ride that you thought you really wanted to go on, but then when you get on it, you realize you’re going to puke. Kind of like that, without the puking, but with an epiphany. I alluded to said epiphany on FB. [Read More…]
There are a lot of things that I don’t want to do. Learning new skills or habits is one of them. I want to be instantly good at whatever I try to do. This has prevented me from learning to do many things I’d love to learn to do.
Day three of my upped dosage, and as is typical for me, I am feeling the effects already. My brain is clearer (though not my head, as I’m dealing with a hum-dinger of a summer cold), and I am more at peace. That’s probably half due to meds, and half due to the fundraiser, which is right now at $1600. That means I can pay a car payment, as well as the rent for next month, at least, and that is just so awesome. So awesome to have that enormous weight taken off me. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. [Read More…]
Damn. Woke up this morning feeling slightly better. Today is my second day at adding the 37.5 mg to my 75 mg dosage.
Then the waterworks started again when I looked at my email and realized that I had over $1000 raised for my Depression Comeback fundraiser. Much of that is due to one very awesome Mr. Tim Castleman, who playfully called a bunch of shared colleagues out on FB. So, heartfelt thanks to you, my friend. He’s also matching donations up to $1000…because of him and friends, I’ll be able to get the auto finance company off my back, as well as pay July’s rent early. What an amazing blessing that will be. It will free up my mind and my energy to work on myself. [Read More…]